Welcome to the [second] most vulnerable blog post I have written to date.
If you’re interested in my full pregnancy journey with my second baby, you can get caught up here:
First Trimester // Second Trimester // Third Trimester // Chloe’s Birth Story
If you’re not already a parent, I bet you didn’t know there was a fourth trimester. 😉 The first three months after birth is a transition period for both baby and mama and has been coined as the “Fourth Trimester” (although, I think the postpartum period actually lasts much longer) — here’s how my second Fourth Trimester went…
*Disclaimer: there’s going to be some TMI / NSFW items discussed, so consider this your warning. lol
FEEDING
If you remember from my first pregnancy, breastfeeding Sophie was a MAJOR source of stress and anxiety. I’d say that it was the only aspect of my postpartum experience that had a majorly negative effect on me.
The stress around breastfeeding just wasn’t healthy and ultimately we decided to formula feed Sophie. After that entire fiasco and processing through all of my feelings about it, I decided that breastfeeding just wasn’t in the cards for our family and donated my breast pump. Upon making this choice, an immense feeling of relief immediately washed over me and I felt the tension leave my shoulders — formula feeding our girls has been the best decision for us and I don’t regret it for a second.
After having been through all of that we knew we were going to formula feed any subsequent babies. Going straight to formula this time gave us the confidence and stress-free experience we wish we had had to start with Sophie. Chloe has done amazingly well with our formula routine, is growing right on track and is happy as a clam.
I also want to note that I have nothing against breastfeeding; I think it’s amazing and encourage all who can and feel led to breastfeed to do so. I truly love that for you; breastfeeding is great if it works for your family!
However, if that’s not your journey, but you’re feeling frustrated by breastfeeding (or even shameful about formula feeding) I highly recommend giving @theformulafairy, @theformulamom, and the @fedisbestfoundation a follow. I really appreciate the formula data, advocacy, and support that they provide.
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We absolutely adore our bottle maker and sanitizing appliances. They are admittedly luxury “nice-to-have” devices, but wow have they made our lives sooo much easier, and in that early newborn stage any help you can get is extremely welcome.
LACTATION SUPPRESSION
Ever since making the decision to formula feed Chloe, I knew I would need to dry up my milk supply after giving birth. When I had Sophie my boobs got so painfully engorged and it lasted for what felt like forever — I was determined not to let that happen again.
This time my milk started to come in two days after Chloe’s arrival and my breasts were fully engorged by the end of day 3. So uncomfortable! 😩 However, because I wore a tight sports bra 24/7, used Cabo Crème, took ibuprofen, and applied ice packs my experience was MUCH LESS miserable this time.
It took about seven days total for the full cycle of my milk coming in and for my breasts to return to “normal” afterward. Every body is different so take that information with a grain of salt; I’m mostly sharing my personal experience so that you have a general idea of what to expect from a timing perspective.
You can find additional lactation suppression information (which was provided to me by my hospital) in my Formula Feeding post here.
RECOVERY AFTER VAGINAL DELIVERY
This is just about as fun as it sounds. If you’re someone who did not experience any tearing during birth, consider yourself incredibly fortunate. During Sophie’s delivery I experienced a second degree perineal tear as well as a labial tear. This time I only had a small labial tear which required just a couple of stitches. I’m super grateful about that because it was so much less uncomfortable to use the bathroom and shower this time. I always recommend grabbing as many supplies from the hospital as you can, but also making sure that you stock up on supplies for continuing recovery at home — I shared my favorite Postpartum Essentials here.
Oh man; I think I shared about my first Thrombosed Hemorrhoid in my Third Trimester post and how miserable of an experience that was. Well, I got another one like -1.5 weeks postpartum and it was SO uncomfortable — it didn’t rupture like my first one did so I didn’t get any relief for about a week and that was truly awful.
My post-birth uterine “flushing” went well (for what it was 😬)… I think? This process is the uterus shrinking back to its normal size, healing, and releasing anything remaining inside leftover from the pregnancy. I guess it takes about ~2 months for the uterus to shrink back to it’s pre-pregnancy size, so I feel like it’s on track.
Just like with Sophie it took my body about ~2.5 weeks to stop actively bleeding; after that I downgraded my pads from the mega diaper type to long pantyliners for about a week to capture the small amount of residual… discharge(?) and then after that fourth week I stopped needing to use pads altogether. Everyone’s body is different and that lochia elimination time can range between 4-6 weeks before your uterus is done discharging everything. I really HATE using pads so it was such a relief to be done using them. 🙌🏼
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Little did I know I would need to use those pads again quite soon after that. Almost two weeks after my PP bleeding had stopped (5w and 5d after Chloe arrived, on 8/8) I got what I assume was my first postpartum period. To my understanding most women who aren’t breastfeeding get their first PP period somewhere between 6-8 weeks after giving birth so this was pretty aligned with that estimate.
The bleeding lasted for a few days longer than a week, but it was way heavier than average — since it arrived before my 6 week appointment I wasn’t able to use tampons yet (the rule is no insertion of anything until after that appt) so I had to use the rest of those thick pads. I remembered what my OB’s office told me to do when I closed them after having Sophie with this same level of bleeding and employed that same method again this time which helped to manage the situation until it resolved itself.
*Obviously, if you are experiencing large clots or anything abnormal please reach out to your physician as I am not a professional and can not provide medical advice.*
PREECLAMPSIA MONITORING
I don’t think I realized that preeclampsia can also appear during the postpartum period… I thought that it was pregnancy-specific, so I was very surprised that my OB wanted to keep me on my blood pressure medication even after giving birth.
When I was discharged from the hospital I was provided with this [super fashionable 💅🏼] blue rubber eclampsia bracelet that they advised me to wear for a few weeks in the event that I needed to be hospitalized for high blood pressure because it would expedite my care.
As advised by my OB/GYN, I have been continuing my regimen of blood pressure meds, monitoring my blood pressure with my at-home cuff, and staying aware of any possible eclampsia warning signs (headache, change in vision, abnormal swelling, etc). Luckily, everything stayed pretty regulated and I didn’t have to go to the hospital.
6 WEEK POSTPARTUM CHECKUP
Six week check up w/ OB: “A postpartum checkup is a post-birth appointment with your doctor or midwife to check how you’re doing physically, mentally and emotionally after having a baby. Your practitioner will examine you to make sure you’re recovering as expected physically and also ask you questions about how you’re handling your life with a new baby.” (per WhatToExpect)
It’s pretty routine to have your first (and only) postpartum checkup around four to six weeks after you deliver and it counts as your annual gynecological visit, so you can expect the usual type of exams, like a pelvic exam — including a pap smear.
My OB’s office requests that their patients fill out a questionnaire to assess their postpartum mental health (which I think should be standard practice for everyone postpartum! SO grateful for my doctor and her practice), they took my weight and blood pressure, discussed any concerns / answered any questions that I had, was given a pelvic exam and pap smear, and my doctor felt my uterus by pressing on my abdomen to make sure it was shrinking back to its normal size. I received a clean bill of [postpartum] health!
My OB’s office also permits infants up to 10 weeks old to attend appointments so my tiny companion was able to join me for this check-up.
PELVIC FLOOR RECOVERY
Oh man, I did NOT do enough to prepare my pelvic floor for birth (again! 😩). I think that has been the toughest portion of my recovery… everything is tender in that area so it’s uncomfortable to both stand and to sit. I could really only find relief when lying down.
Once my “uterine flushing” calmed down a bit (around two and a half weeks postpartum) I started doing gentle postnatal exercises to help restore and strengthen my pelvic floor, and planned to ramp things up a bit after getting the all-clear from my OB/GYN at my 6 week checkup. However, Sophie started potty training and then we started preschool, so it’s been a bit busy for me to find time to exercise, but it’s on my agenda!
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DRESSING FOR POSTPARTUM
As I mentioned in my Tips for Building A Maternity Capsule Wardrobe post as well as in my personal Summer Maternity Capsule post the items that I chose (and always recommend) are ones that can carry you through the fourth trimester and beyond. I only had a few pieces that were large belly-bump specific (like my over-the-belly maternity jeans), but the rest of my maternity capsule wardrobe has continued to serve me well in this next stage.
Some items I have continued to wear after giving birth are my Hill House dresses and my HATCH snap-front dress. It’s simply been too hot to wear anything but a breezy dress this summer. They’re perfect to wear for taking it easy at home, running errands, or going to doctor appointments.
Comfort is the name of the game throughout pregnancy and postpartum. When Dress Season is over, I am absolutely reverting to leggings and tunics when the temperatures start to drop. 😂
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One item that I DID need for my postpartum wardrobe is a pair of jeans since my pre-pregnancy jeans wouldn’t fit, but my big belly waistband jeans also wouldn’t fit so I found myself in a weird in-between situation.
After my pregnancy with Sophie I invested in a pair of the Le One high rise skinny jeans by FRAME that fit six sizes in one pair (I got the Kodak color)!! No guesswork in finding my “new” size and having a hormonal meltdown over it. Unfortunately, FRAME has discontinued the Le One line since then and are now offering a newer variation called The Jetset Collection that may suit your needs! If you’re interested in the Le One line, I recommend searching for them on secondhand websites like Poshmark and Mercari where you may find them at a steep discount!
I also highly recommend shopping the pieces from HATCH’s Postpartum Collection (which are specifically useful for the fourth trimester!) if you’re in need of a few pieces for this temporary period to bridge the gap in your wardrobe.
Lastly, I have been severely overdue in purging my closet (it’s been since before the COVID-19 pandemic began!) so I felt like there would be no better time to get caught up than now, after having given birth to my last baby — it’s time. When I have more to share on how I’m accomplishing this monumental task you can find more details here.
POSTPARTUM HAIR LOSS
I absolutely hate that this is even a thing. Your body has been hanging onto all of your strands of hair for months and months, meaning that it’s been thick and lustrous throughout your pregnancy (a major perk, in my opinion!). But after baby arrives your body decides that in addition to all of the other “fun” things for you to endure in the postpartum period it’s time to let go of ALL of those hairs at once. 😭 So cruel! Mine didn’t start really falling out until about a week before this post went live, so almost three months to the day.
To keep my hair healthy throughout pregnancy I cut down on my hot tool use and frequently applied my secret weapon, which seems to have worked really well to minimize split ends / damage. I’m doing my best to keep what hair I DO have left healthy and encourage new hair growth.
Because I’ve been through this postpartum hair shedding once before, I’ve already discovered a few new ways to style my hair to help conceal / blend that new regrowth and I wrote a blog post here sharing all the info I’ve found for easing the experience a bit.
After having Sophie my hair loss slowed way down to a much more normal rate after about ~2.5 months, which was encouraging after losing large clumps of hair every time I ran my fingers or a brush through it. I am dreading the next 2.5 months, but at least I have a general time frame to help manage my expectations this go around.
NEWBORN PHOTOS
As with all of our professional milestone photos (engagement, wedding, pregnancy announcement, and maternity) we used Blue Rose Photography who we absolutely adore! You can see my curated selection of favorite family photos in this post… it was so hard to narrow down my choices!!!
Babies grow so incredibly fast so if you are on the fence about getting newborn photos taken, I highly encourage you to have the early days captured because they’re only this tiny once. 😭 If you’re looking for outfit or photo inspiration for newborn photos I have a roundup of suggestions here.
TIME
Speaking of time, it passes so slowly in the moment, but all of a sudden the day is over and I have no idea where the hours have gone. Between Chloe eating every few hrs, trying to rest / maintain my healing body, cleaning bottles, eating my own meals, taking care of and spending time with my toddler (as much as I can), all of that in addition to trying to fit in daily home maintenance… all of a sudden the day is over and I feel like I have nothing to show for it. 🤣 We’ve been in survival mode and while I don’t want our baby to grow up too quickly, I am looking forward to the days when we can go a bit longer between feedings and get more done during the day + sleep a bit more through the night. I think it was harder for us with Sophie because we didn’t really have any frame of reference of when she would be able to eat more and therefore sleep longer so it felt like we were in this perpetual cycle of lack of sleep that would never end. After that experience we now know that it’s not forever.
*UPDATE (2.5 months in): Chloe eats every ~4 hours during the day now and often goes 7-8 hours between feeds overnight, so we’re feeling very fortunate in regards to her [current] sleep patterns. It was definitely rough for the first few weeks when her stomach was super tiny and she needed to eat every ~2 hours and while we were adjusting to our new life as a family of 4, but once we got our feet back underneath us and a few weeks had passed, things got so much smoother!
Tl;dr — things will get better, it just takes time to get into the swing of things.
ADJUSTING TO LIFE WITH TWO LITTLES
Even though this isn’t our first time having a baby, we’re still navigating a fair amount of newness. Obviously, we have a brand new tiny person to get to know, but we’re also navigating how to juggle a toddler AND an infant, and figuring out a new schedule that works for all 4 of us.
Oh man… there has been SUCH a learning curve with managing two kiddos. in some regards, things have been very much the same as they were when I had Soph so I can sort of default to muscle memory / autopilot. With other things I’m doing mental gymnastics trying to solve the logistics of which child to load / take out of the car first, etc.
I would say that after the first two weeks postpartum we felt like we were finally starting to get our feet back underneath us and by two months we were all a lot more comfortable with our new normal. By then we were in something that loosely resembles a routine.
Sophie was a fairly “easy” baby and we knew that wasn’t a guarantee with Chloe, but she’s been pretty stellar too. Chloe’s been fairly easy-going and has willingly accepted everything we have provided to her (such as bottle nipples, pacifiers, formula, etc.). We’re so grateful that we haven’t had to play the Guessing Game with any of those things in trying to determine what she likes. I’m also glad that she likes snuggles and being held because she is strapped to me for a large portion of the day while I chase Sophie around.
All of that to say, I still think that pregnancy was the most amazing thing that I have ever experienced and I feel so fortunate to have been able to go through that journey a second time. I feel so lucky to have our girls and I sure love being their mama!
Feel free to ask any questions in the Comments section below. I’m hardly an expert in this area, but I am more than happy to share my experience!
Sending hugs —
xx, Natalie
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